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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39383) - you deserved it (22672)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34093) - you deserved it (3541)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you deserved it (3012)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (66799)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

#20571483
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (3891)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46967) - you deserved it (3286)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (3174)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML

#20563641
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (4656)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (56415)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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