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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (4599)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56382) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50659) - you deserved it (3371)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45979) - you deserved it (5466)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47307) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (7435)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48292) - you deserved it (6413)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (2226)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31644) - you deserved it (2054)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30498) - you deserved it (3635)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (4966)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47580) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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