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Monday 25 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I went to visit some family out of state 4 my niece's birthday. I couldn't think ofhat to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money , iPods , game consoles , etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it awayhen she couldn't. FML

#20568124
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts fir mah kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, fir having way too many items fir the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

#20567111
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today... mah nieghbours came to yell at me as they could hear mah "shit music" through mah window during the afternoon... so I turned it off. They then began to play there definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. real FML

#20567871
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4854)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, ( Fat ass. ) I turned around an demanded to see the manager. Once he came an heard the situation, he looked at me an said, ( Well, it's lyk he's wrong, right? ) mega FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (17484)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I almost lost my vrginity at the age of 34. After yeres of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am.

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70160) - you deserved it (10601)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation... he kicked my shin and screamed... "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (16983)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met mah soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of mah life. My vacation is to celebrate mah 8-year anniversary with mah husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (54509)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, ma dad yet again uttered te words "well, tat escalated quickly,"ile watcing te news. He uses tis godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost ma sit an told im to just sut up already. He raised an eyebrow an said, "well, tat escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today , a blonde tourist cummd up to me and askd me 4 drections to the nearest train station. I politely drectd her there , and she left. Five minutes later , she cummd back and slappd me 4 not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China , lady. FML

#20567861
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today I Awoke To Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, "Baby You're Making Me Hard." Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? "It's Jake, From State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82546) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends an my boyfriend . During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass . My boyfriend pointed an said, ( Babe, you took his drink . ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me an saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity . ) FML

#20563680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64794) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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