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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn!! Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it!! FML

#20557646
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (12776)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy . I couldn't help but correct her . She apologized 4 her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore . FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes . We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her an looool said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look an told me she was Jewish . FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (19456)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, ( Fat ass. ) I turned around an demanded to see the manager. Once he came an heard the situation, he looked at me an said, ( Well, it's lyk he's wrong, right? ) mega FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (17484)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I almost lost my vrginity at the age of 34. After yeres of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am.

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70160) - you deserved it (10601)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation... he kicked my shin and screamed... "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (16983)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met mah soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of mah life. My vacation is to celebrate mah 8-year anniversary with mah husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (54509)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I kissed mah gorgeous new boyfriend 4 the first time. I ran mah hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out an five lice crawled onto mah hand. fat FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (6609)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating u for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (7364)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the subwayhen I felt lyk I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people,ho had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. fat FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (2840)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today.. . I broke up with boyfriend of seven years . He stared at me.. . then said ( Yeah.. . okay then . I'm gonna watch TV now . ) He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun . Not quite the response I was hoping for . FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (37402)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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