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Monday 18 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (14008)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (20974)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (3859)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (39715)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54185) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54114) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

#20554927
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (3123)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47944) - you deserved it (4824)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (7718)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (28632)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML



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