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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (4475)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (41689)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35507) - you deserved it (7357)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43254) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (2898)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39996) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (4002)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (4996)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (6151)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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