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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (2802) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (3098)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (3388)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43127) - you deserved it (3995)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35072) - you deserved it (5517)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36525) - you deserved it (4282)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (7481)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (2802)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

#20548471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (9486)

On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (4302)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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