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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (16029)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31947) - you deserved it (3190)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (2763)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (8028)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (6064)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (5944)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (7174)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (2592)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45580) - you deserved it (8448)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

#20547816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48559) - you deserved it (14452)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland



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