Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I was feeling a bit insecure about mah body and I told mah boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied "I know right?" FML

#20555435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37813) - you deserved it (18105)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah grandma gava ma a sax talk. Not tha usual ona, aithar. This ona was about blowjobs. I had to sit politaly as sha axplainad it's somathing all woman hava to laarn if thay want a wall-bahavad husband, but that it's an ( acquirad tasta ). Gag ma. maga FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (5374)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I was outside at a café and lookd at my phone . When I did, a woman halfway across the patio startd screaming at me, demanding I tell herho I was texting andhy . She then sprintd over, furious at me 4 apparently badmouthing her to somebody . All I did was check the time . FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36746) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I exitd McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching handbag right off shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhaustd before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. real FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (35423)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up new car. The dealer offered to connect iPhone to the Bluetooth system 4 me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passagehich had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today , bieng too poor to buy makeup , I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out , just so I could look nice fir mah job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (4408)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I invitd my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to puttd her in a really romantic mood . She decidd to tell her friend, who then invitd herself and another couple along . I endd up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table . FML

#20542468
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walkad into work, a day aftar losing ma sit wit our systams admin, dua to ar taking agas to anabla ma naw amail account. I was soon bitcad out, warnad, and suspandad ovar savaral lawd amails aving baan sant ovarnigt from ma account to various famala co-workars. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (29750)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nacos an ceese off te batroom floor!! Se wasn't wearing any pants!! FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (2888)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I walkd into tha room nakd whila mah wifa was on tha computar to surprisa har. Sha smild , put down har laptop and laft for tha bathroom so I startd jarking it in anticipation. It was raally faaling good until mah wifa's bast friand , who was on Skypa , startd giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (22011)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I went to the movies with mah boyfriend. The movie was in 3D , and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if u could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did , claiming the movie would be "better". fat FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (5779)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Yesterday, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrivd I textd her an she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9767)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: