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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (4693)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (5149)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (4377)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (7463)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17045) - you deserved it (32225)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (52768)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53635) - you deserved it (12599)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (38256)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (6141)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (2629)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia



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