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Friday 15 March 2013

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Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

by captainlame / 03/21/2013 at 1:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

by tspence / 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

by Dat Stanky Mouf / 03/16/2013 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

by sickness and health my sphincter / 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

by lp525252 / 03/20/2013 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Love