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Thursday 7 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that lookd exactly like her . She came up to us asking if we saw her looool grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out . FML

#20535134
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38038) - you deserved it (2253)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess mah feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later an said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (7367)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I showed mah wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health . She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn . FML

#20536129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37074) - you deserved it (8796)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guyho works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He endd up asking looool if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43095) - you deserved it (3993)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, mah fiancé had to perform his frst prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I remindd him that he did fine on his frst pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had mah hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, aftar housa-sitting 4 a waak, I cama homa to find tha housa inhich I rant a basamant suita has all but burnad to tha ground. My landlord didn't avan bothar to tall ma about tha fra. FML

#20533456
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (1733)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today fiancée and I showed mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "Looks lyk a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I proposd to my girlfriend. She said yes, an I excitedly calld my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heretedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic tohat she'd found in her turd earlier. mega FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I took my daughter on her frst visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. big fat FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah 20-yaar-old cama whining to ma, asking why his job intarviaws kaap going so poorly . I had to dalicataly axplain that tha ( PIMP SLAP ) tattoo ha had puttad on his right hand racantly may hava somathing to do with it . FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (4089)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I Movd Back To My Ome Town. My Best Friend An I Ad Arrangd To Rent A Ouse Togeter Tat We Bot Likd. I Finisd My Last Day At Work An Made Te Tree-our Drive, Only Fir Er To Break Down An Tell Me Tat Se Isn't ( Ready ) To Move Out Of Er Parents' Basement. Se's 25. Fat FML

#20540831
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (2556)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

TODAY, I WOKE UP TO FINE THAT MAH PARENT HAD REPLACD MAH REGULAR ALARM CLOCK WITH A WALKING ONE THAT REQUIRE YOU TO GET UP AND FINE IT . THE ALARM WAS SET TO 5:00AM,HICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF IT WASN'T THE WEEKEND . FML

#20530545
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3453)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl!! Who was the only personho cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for!! FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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