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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

#20187584
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34800) - you deserved it (11566)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17002) - you deserved it (53145)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (6001)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (28470)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (6416)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (3309)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (89688)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (46245)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)



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