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Thursday 3 September 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (3875)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (1088)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

#21462923
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (1732)

On 08/31/2015 at 9:16am - intimacy - by FuckThis (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

#21463369
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (1501)

On 09/01/2015 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (1431)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

#21463683
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16482) - you deserved it (1214)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

#21463240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18563) - you deserved it (2826)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (1166)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (1211)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (2022)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

#21463365
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (21013)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by RiceCrispyTreats - United States (New Hampshire)



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