Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73226) - you deserved it (4182)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54143) - you deserved it (3262)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (2833)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46469) - you deserved it (3141)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (3325)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49521) - you deserved it (3036)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (7227)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (12043)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you deserved it (28229)
On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (17025)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51722) - you deserved it (2720)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (7448)
On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44737) - you deserved it (2285)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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