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Sunday 29 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (2961)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (4185)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (1961)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (3717)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
2 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (1492)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

#21382383
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (2501) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/27/2015 at 5:50am - love - by Anonyme - France (Bretagne)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (4484) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (2201)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML



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