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June 2016

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Today, my wedding is scheduled for next week. Today is also the day my whole family had an epic falling out, resulting in my mother disowning my brother. Apart from having them taking turns sobbing at me through the phone, they're also not coming to the wedding. I paid the hotel rooms in advance. FML

by GoFigure / 06/15/2016 at 9:33am / Germany (Berlin) / Love

Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML

by Revelyn / 06/03/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. To this, she said, "You need to meet more people."FML

by Lazyuser2849 / 06/01/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

by oh no / 06/06/2016 at 11:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML

by Belt issues / 06/09/2016 at 8:21am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend jokingly blocked my number until I apply for a job. She is also supposed to be picking me up from the airport, so now I have no way to contact her to tell her what time. FML

by LaughingFML / 06/01/2016 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money

Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML

by CantWin / 06/07/2016 at 6:38pm / United States (Utah) / Geek

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date. I've discussed the fact I like to date older men, but she thought it was clever to send a 63-year-old to my house to, "Netflix And Chill." FML

by deanlazore / 06/22/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my professor called me out for drinking whiskey in class. I was actually drinking iced tea. FML

by Imagino1234 / 06/02/2016 at 12:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I opened up my laptop to replace a faulty chip inside, which took me half an hour. When I closed it all up again, I saw the replacement part in its packaging on my desk. FML

by stupidassgeek / 06/15/2016 at 9:22am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, my divorced parents have started sending each other photos of both of my bedrooms, to, “compare the shambles and see who wins.“ FML

by Naulwenn / 06/23/2016 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous