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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (2614)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

#21296921
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (6045)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by killme - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (2908)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (2813)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (2705)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (32878)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (2302)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (3662)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)



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