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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (4131)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (6728)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (9854)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39433) - you deserved it (3233)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (41467)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (37294)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39351) - you deserved it (11744)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (4523)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41246) - you deserved it (3512)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3941)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (2752)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (2732)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)



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