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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3298)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (2236)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

#21274158
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (13302)

On 10/09/2014 at 10:10am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (2889)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (9584)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

#21281960
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13097) - you deserved it (867)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by sushipanda9 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (3601)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

#21274044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (2198)

On 10/09/2014 at 2:51am - health - by bees - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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