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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
66 comments

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (3192)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (4361)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (2435)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17601) - you deserved it (34092)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35218) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (2072)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (2723)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (2027)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (6895)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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Friday 14 November 2014

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