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February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14376) - you deserved it (33063)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (8928)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (11900)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28359) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (4433)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (40104)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (3247)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (6028)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (2622)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

#21358332
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (2250)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
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Friday 27 February 2015

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