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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (3355)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (2937)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

#21330933
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (6307)

On 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm - love - by fml - United States

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (6085)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (5099)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (4019)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (2781)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)



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