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Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML
Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML
Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML
Friday 17 October 2014