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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37021) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (3775)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

#21312556
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (7798)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35681) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

#21318917
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (6405) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2014 at 12:29am - intimacy - by marie0908 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

#21315594
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (2863)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by KCHS - United States

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (2099)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (4577)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States



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