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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (4041)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37857) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (7052)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (4372)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (2712)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (14916)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

#21271313
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (33411)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (7945)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (4455)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (5239)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33341) - you deserved it (3303)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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