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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (4556)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (4024)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16547) - you deserved it (24268)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

#21404933
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (5501)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

#21407745
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30794) - you deserved it (5446)

On 05/10/2015 at 11:35am - intimacy - by YouDontSay (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (2296)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (5554)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26523) - you deserved it (2364)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (2364)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML



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