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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2007)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (36129)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (2158)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (1855)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (3381)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

#21392089
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (2477)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29544) - you deserved it (2121)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (14579)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML

#21386456
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (2270)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:48am - work - by Wellfu (woman) - Europe



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