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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (2634)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45426) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (4073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (4359)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (35208)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (3807)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38540) - you deserved it (11566)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (4465)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (2013)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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