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June 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (3590)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (2901)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (1862)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (2616)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

#21431076
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (1615)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

#21428771
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (8131)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (9788)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (2056)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam



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