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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (4994)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (6398)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (5173)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

#21296970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (2597)

On 11/11/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (4167)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (6873)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (7838)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)



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