Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (3092)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36386) - you deserved it (8148)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (2635)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (4724) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (2973)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you deserved it (8429)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you deserved it (31087)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (3439)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47006) - you deserved it (3248)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (3789)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40028) - you deserved it (2486)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49419) - you deserved it (3141)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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