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January 2015

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Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (6738)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (4382)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
90 comments

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (2579)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (7985)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States



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