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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving around with my brother and his idiotic friends, one of them decided it would be a brilliant idea to throw a hot sauce packet out of the car window at a moving vehicle. I've never seen someone angry enough to stop and get out of a vehicle that fast. FML

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

#21525094
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (2814)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:24am - work - by candy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

#21525409
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (512)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17736) - you deserved it (1514)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

#21525261
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9480) - you deserved it (996)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the power in my village went out. This caused the back-up battery powered alarm to go off. Nobody in the house even knew our alarm worked, let alone how to make it stop. It's been going off for over an hour now. FML

#21524147
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (1484)

On 02/08/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by James (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (10641)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (1766)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

#21524722
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15171) - you deserved it (1567)

On 02/10/2016 at 6:57am - work - by PhD student (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (1292)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19423) - you deserved it (1759)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (1454)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)



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