Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33816) - you deserved it (3022)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38882) - you deserved it (2484)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (3525)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (3332)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (6318)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (6433)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (9338)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (4899)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

#21275799
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (6583)

On 10/11/2014 at 8:11pm - misc - by dykerino (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35609) - you deserved it (7080)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: