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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

#21329998
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Chicagoillinois (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (4124)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

#21339329
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (3373)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (2826)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (2314)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (4028)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

#21337697
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (8676)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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