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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3813)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (20)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (2550)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (3074)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (1821)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24) - you deserved it (2638)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58) - you deserved it (9427)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3165)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (4)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

#21375070
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (2371)

On 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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