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October 2016

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Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my math teacher explained his concern for how "clipboard" should be pronounced similar to "cupboard." I thought he was crazy. I then later found myself saying it the new way to my mother. FML

by Confused Clipboard / 10/19/2016 at 10:41am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

by KillerChipmunk / 10/10/2016 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my toddler son walked up to my older daughter and kissed her chest, then said, "I kissed the boob." I have no idea where he learned that word. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend met my mom. He was curious as to how my mom had a better ass than mine when she was twice my age. FML

by mermaidkeels / 10/10/2016 at 9:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out how my salesmen are "entertaining" themselves since they were told they can't have their cell phones on them. They are pulling straws to see who will pretend to trip and fall face-first onto the floor in front of customers. FML

by bossproblems / 10/17/2016 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

by jaymaag25 / 10/20/2016 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, for the sixteenth consecutive time, I'm definitely not pregnant. Nope, I'm just super bitchy, and I like really weird food. FML

by Amie89 / 10/09/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was house-hunting online. I was becoming increasingly discouraged and began to look for mini-houses in absurd desperation. I noticed the Google sidebar advertising a cute mini house within my budget. Excited, I clicked on the ad - only to discover it was an ad for a child's playhouse. FML

by Nohouseforme / 10/07/2016 at 1:38am / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML

by justmyluck5150 / 10/17/2016 at 1:58pm / United States / Health

Today, I got into my dream university. I also got turned down for the scholarship and the loan that would enable me to actually go. FML

by TooPoorForPrivateUni / 10/09/2016 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Merton) / Money

Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML

by twicethepersonioncewas / 10/18/2016 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I spent 2 hours organizing all of my coupons, just to leave out my room for 10 seconds to come back to my 2-year-old crumbling them up and ripping them. FML

by DezyCoCo / 10/01/2016 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Kids