Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13) - you deserved it (2476)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

#21376186
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (17492)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (11)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (22)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

#21368266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

#21369637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (4841)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (2087)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (1975)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9) - you deserved it (2535)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: