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December 2016

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Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all the post and gifts they have been sending her. For a special birthday / Christmas, I'd splurged on an expensive, interactive mystery game where you are mailed clues over the course of 6 months. FML

by BrokeStudentTryingToDoSomethingNice / 12/02/2016 at 1:31am / Holidays

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

by Axlgrows / 12/02/2016 at 11:44am / Geek

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

by Lonelyhopeful / 12/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Love

Today, Facebook notified me a "friend" had tagged me in one of his photos. It was a group photo of 20, but my face was the only one that was intentionally blocked out with an emoji because I "didn't belong in the group." FML

by ftt / 12/06/2016 at 10:22am / Geek

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back, where I work, and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

by justhatelife / 12/09/2016 at 9:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2016 at 5:14pm / Health

Today, I was helping my dad sell furniture online after a messy divorce. After organising everything to be picked up, it turned out the buyer was the guy Mum had the affair with. What are the chances? FML

by immisterbulldops / 12/08/2016 at 4:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, like most weekends, I got swindled into being the designated driver for our group. Too bad this weekend was my birthday. FML

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

by alison89430 / 12/05/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML

by ghostninja4593 / 12/01/2016 at 10:48pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, the pizza delivery man and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

by CheeseLover / 12/01/2016 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

by neverunderstood / 12/02/2016 at 7:39am / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Love

Today, I moved states to be with my soulmate in our new condo. It was also the day I took out a neighbor's balcony with my U-Haul. FML

by crash and burn / 12/01/2016 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Money