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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (2864)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (4568)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31846) - you deserved it (4471)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (2691)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (4233)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (4360)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37375) - you deserved it (3740)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (2466)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34232) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41600) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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