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May 2015

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Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12481) - you deserved it (27881)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (3573)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, my friends told me they will be unable to attend my birthday party on Friday because they'll be watching the Vampire Diaries finale. FML

#21409757
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Muralove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
106 comments

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14147) - you deserved it (28885)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (2327)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10775) - you deserved it (12327)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (4162)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33815) - you deserved it (2023)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)



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