Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (2585)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister offered me a couple doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

#21453223
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (1949)

On 08/07/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

#21454163
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/10/2015 at 4:32am - misc - by mildlyconcussed - Italy (Campania)

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

#21456831
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17401) - you deserved it (7781)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm - kids - by donuts678 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3557)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (1721)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML

#21453243
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/07/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by DietWater - United States (California)

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15325) - you deserved it (1100)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

#21455023
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (1414)

On 08/12/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (703)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden

Today, I got told that I was going to hell for turning down a man that was at least in his 60s. Even after I told him I was married. FML

#21455672
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (1461)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:33pm - love - by hnnhyoo (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: