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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

#21455380
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1889)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:44pm - kids - by jjjjjohn cena - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22033) - you deserved it (1777)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

#21452391
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (1466)

On 08/05/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by gingerwhinger - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (3476)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (2049)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

#21451692
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/04/2015 at 7:59am - misc - by elizio (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14266) - you deserved it (1089)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (1997)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

#21459843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (7388)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:40pm - misc - by JadeDemolition (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

#21450246
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1598)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

#21452688
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/06/2015 at 11:18am - misc - by Lilo4life - United States (California)

Today, my sister got promoted to manager at the store we both work at. Since company policy states that siblings can't work at the same store if one of them is a manager, I was let go. FML

#21459013
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (1566)

On 08/21/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

#21455882
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (1959)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by jonloran - United States (Nevada)



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