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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (6916)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (3679)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (1986)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (4266)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (4730)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (2622)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (2682)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (8447)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (841)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (2623)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

#21404242
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (2185)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by double trouble -

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12325) - you deserved it (27625)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)



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