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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48939) - you deserved it (4638)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (11321)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48025) - you deserved it (3310)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51916) - you deserved it (3800)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
139 comments

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38106) - you deserved it (7303)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41490) - you deserved it (6934)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52081) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61011) - you deserved it (4735)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (53043)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29693) - you deserved it (20171)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (5319)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)



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