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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (28096)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (6514)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (15436)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (6034)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41941) - you deserved it (3090)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16285) - you deserved it (29744)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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