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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (2812)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (7443)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32228) - you deserved it (2857)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (9728)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (7725)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (17260)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (5658)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (6739)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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