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December 2016

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Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML

by oreosaretoocool / 12/05/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML

by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

by Al Staten / 12/06/2016 at 5:03pm / Work

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

by ManagerWithoutRespect / 12/05/2016 at 12:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me 2 tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML

by Lenny_R / 12/08/2016 at 2:53pm / Transportation

Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all the post and gifts they have been sending her. For a special birthday / Christmas, I'd splurged on an expensive, interactive mystery game where you are mailed clues over the course of 6 months. FML

by BrokeStudentTryingToDoSomethingNice / 12/02/2016 at 1:31am / Holidays

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

by Axlgrows / 12/02/2016 at 11:44am / Geek

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

by Lonelyhopeful / 12/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Love

Today, Facebook notified me a "friend" had tagged me in one of his photos. It was a group photo of 20, but my face was the only one that was intentionally blocked out with an emoji because I "didn't belong in the group." FML

by ftt / 12/06/2016 at 10:22am / Geek

Today, I went to the ER for an asthma attack. I left with a UTI and an elevated heart rate. FML

by ryuuchild / 12/08/2016 at 7:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was helping my dad sell furniture online after a messy divorce. After organising everything to be picked up, it turned out the buyer was the guy Mum had the affair with. What are the chances? FML

by immisterbulldops / 12/08/2016 at 4:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2016 at 5:14pm / Health