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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

#21328432
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (4079)

On 01/01/2015 at 3:52am - misc - by sandwhiched - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (6666)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (3381)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (1779)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11602) - you deserved it (7809)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

#21339798
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (8002)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4366)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

#21346273
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9483) - you deserved it (665)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

#21329401
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by tokinallday - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (3523)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada



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