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June 2016

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Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know who's she's saying during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2016 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

by not a shitty situation so fuck you / 06/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML

by Evjoel / 06/28/2016 at 6:34am / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Kids

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

by RingofFire / 06/03/2016 at 7:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that ever since I went from working full-time to part-time, my boss frequently blames me for different things behind my back. Currently, she's telling people I clogged the toilet and lost her keys - on what was actually my day off. FML

by cocacola999 / 06/14/2016 at 10:38pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was outside using a power sander. I forgot to put on mosquito repellent and a mosquito started biting me. My only somewhat-free hand was holding the power sander. FML

by ForSeriousReally / 06/11/2016 at 1:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

by WrongPlaceWrongTime / 06/25/2016 at 2:51pm / France / Work

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

by crybaby / 06/28/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

by hannamacintosh / 06/28/2016 at 1:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I think I met the one. I had the best date ever. We played mini golf and talked about all the things we had in common. After sharing a kiss, I said goodbye, with the promise to meet up again. Too bad he forgot to mention he was moving to Texas the next day. FML

by SadlySally / 06/01/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

by SmileAndSayHi / 06/01/2016 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

by meish / 06/05/2016 at 9:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, after being told two weeks ago that my contract would be renewed, my boss managed to tell me that actually he had other applicants for the job. I will be let go, but he offered me two months extra so I could finish the projects he had me working on. FML

by duCOQUELICOT / 06/13/2016 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work