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May 2015

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Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (9847)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

#21402857
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (2037)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2232)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (1772)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

#21416691
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (1563)

On 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by concom - Cyprus

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

#21406178
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (9094)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

#21407249
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (8888)

On 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm - misc - by Rar (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

#21415827
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (1639)

On 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by tmi4me - United States

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (2783)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27439) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (1596)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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