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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (2985)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (2635)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2432)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

#21231531
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (4372)

On 08/07/2014 at 4:23am - money - by MoMoneyMoProblems (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (5644)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

#21231175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (2305)

On 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm - work - by TzarErik (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19416) - you deserved it (4459)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33268) - you deserved it (11180)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (2537)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (2652)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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