Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (2435)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (4551)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (2439)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29456) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

#21275140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (2462)

On 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm - work - by shatfjord (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (7323)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: