Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (2877)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (2843)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (3150)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (4047)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39203) - you deserved it (2939)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (11765)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

#21196634
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (4037)

On 07/02/2014 at 8:59pm - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

#21218491
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm - misc - by Rosey (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (3254)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42921) - you deserved it (3300)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: