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May 2015

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Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26424) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9488) - you deserved it (12417)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML

#21404425
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (1993)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by FMe - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (1722)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (1649)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (3666)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, my mom got mad at me because I wouldn't write to Ellen Degeneres about her. She now won't talk to me. FML

#21405568
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2793)

On 05/06/2015 at 9:36am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (7358)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (1720)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (1983)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (1780)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)



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