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July 2016

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Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 8:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

by fuckit / 07/23/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

by Bacon0426 / 07/04/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML

by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

by Dlpnlvr85 / 07/10/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I entered a restaurant just to use the WiFi. In order not to look cheap, I ordered a meal and a beverage. The WiFi didn't work and now I don't have enough money to buy dinner. FML

by decenthumanbeing / 07/14/2016 at 9:13am / Money

Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML

by aintgotnoteeth / 07/19/2016 at 1:53pm / Health

Today, I was washing my car, I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

by spaaaarta / 07/25/2016 at 4:17pm / Transportation

Today, my husband kindly offered to take me on a brewery tour. Turned out the brewery is owned by his ex-girlfriend and there was no tour after all. Just me standing awkwardly for 25 minutes while he chatted to her about her family and stuff they used to do together. FML

by whiskynexttimeplease / 07/07/2016 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

by CasperTheFriendlyGhost / 07/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Health

Today at camp, we were choosing teams for capture the flag. It's embarrassing to be chosen last, but today I learnt it's even more embarrassing to not be chosen at all. FML

by lastinclass / 07/13/2016 at 5:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML

by jaym42013 / 07/22/2016 at 3:29pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous