Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2128)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

#21376518
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (2039)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2197)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

#21368890
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (2135)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (11416)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

#21377506
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34840) - you deserved it (2458)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (8812)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

#21368524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (2327)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:38am - kids - by MrsRODixon - United Kingdom (Bridgend)

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (42440)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: