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January 2015

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Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (7175)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (4464)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

#21344749
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15803) - you deserved it (1140)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

#21343705
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (1766)

On 01/24/2015 at 10:26pm - intimacy - by confused (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (4172)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (5587)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (2183)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

#21337468
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32033) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/15/2015 at 6:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (2029)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

#21339043
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (9413)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm - animals - by bad luck Bianca - United States (Texas)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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