Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (3973)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33110) - you deserved it (4400)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34681) - you deserved it (2877)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34653) - you deserved it (5237)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (5441)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (3518)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (41865)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (38382)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (2972)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

#21214465
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (5537)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: