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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23916) - you deserved it (3020)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19086) - you deserved it (21848)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27343) - you deserved it (1757)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandmother came to visit and asked me, "Did you change your hair, or are you just fatter now?" FML

#21406084
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2560)

On 05/07/2015 at 7:01am - misc - by Chubby (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (2093)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (10397)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (1753)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (2674)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14982) - you deserved it (20536)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (1874)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States



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