Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36350) - you deserved it (3405)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (2755)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (2343)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked it I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19062) - you deserved it (6494)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35360) - you deserved it (13171)
On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (4496)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (2814)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41316) - you deserved it (6231)
On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43480) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36050) - you deserved it (3241)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (3566)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (6560)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (11379)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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