Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
September 2016

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

by Rabite / 09/15/2016 at 10:48am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Transportation

Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML

by polkadotpinup / 09/16/2016 at 1:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, after a month at my new job, my boss fired me because I didn't have enough experience. She hired me with full knowledge of this fact. FML

by jobless / 09/08/2016 at 2:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I bought stamps to send a letter. For some unknown reason, instead of putting the stamp on the letter, I posted the letter and the stamp booklet into the postbox. FML

by Blamethepostman / 09/16/2016 at 11:10am / Money

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

by sweetdreams / 09/18/2016 at 2:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm fostering a very shy cat who doesn't like to be held. I had to move the litter box to another room, but when I picked him up to show him where I'd moved it to, he peed on me. FML

by kdriver / 09/12/2016 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML

by Lissa / 09/13/2016 at 8:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I bought a friendship bracelet. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that I don't actually have a friend to give the other half to, or that I'm actually wearing one of them so it looks like I have friends. FML

by very very lonely / 09/24/2016 at 12:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "unlike my boyfriend." FML

by nicetoknow / 09/26/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

by gothchick201013 / 09/09/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML

by NoJob / 09/24/2016 at 2:41am / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Work

Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML

by anon / 09/05/2016 at 4:17am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love

Today, I logged onto Tinder to see if I had any messages. I had one: "Get off Tinder." FML

by Thay / 09/01/2016 at 6:28pm / United States / Love