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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cousin claimed me as his girlfriend in front of his friends, even though I'm four years older than him. Then I received a text from him saying, "Please, just go with it". I had to. FML

#21343677
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (1536)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:19pm - misc - by cousinofthecentury (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2559)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (3995)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5883)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

#21334513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:22pm - misc - by gotta_respond (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (5817)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (2452)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML

#21334630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:46pm - work - by sadlrana121 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33623) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (4250)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (10893)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (5564)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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