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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (4397)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (2937)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (3565)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (5463)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (13854)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

#21290633
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2028)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:28pm - health - by Mojo0608 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (5690)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)



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