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December 2014

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Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

#21313490
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (25301)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (4183)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

#21315541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (2538)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by ohray - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (5876)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (5140)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (3954)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (4242)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)



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