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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (2695)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14029) - you deserved it (29814)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30045) - you deserved it (2668)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

#21406339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm - misc - by Martine624 - Netherlands

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (2249)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (3095)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (2480)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (24818)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

#21403387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (1981)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm - misc - by Eternal Servitude - United States (California)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (1514)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (26825)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)



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