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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (2707)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (3164)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (21390)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (9618)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (10724)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

#21274044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32407) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/09/2014 at 2:51am - health - by bees - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (29250)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (2547)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (4313)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (2434)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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