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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (15219)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (11404)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (4098)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32494) - you deserved it (2715)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (1926)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (2391)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (2123)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (2497)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (8218)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

#21374314
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (2507)

On 03/14/2015 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)



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