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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (7575)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (1333)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34869) - you deserved it (2458)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (32914)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (2302)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (4192)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
67 comments

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (2236)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28512) - you deserved it (3959)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)



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