Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (3558)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (11182)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (7625)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I recieved a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (1754)
On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (3539)
On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (40709)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (6229)
On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43966) - you deserved it (7269)
On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48850) - you deserved it (2624)
On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (5361)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (5399)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (5368)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2196)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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