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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (3344)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (2922)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28359) - you deserved it (7907)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28082) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

#21274158
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (13402)

On 10/09/2014 at 10:10am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33077) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)



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