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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (4643)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

#21318538
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (1952)

On 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (7469)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (2239)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (2060)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

#21312880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (6986)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (1655)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (4674)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

#21315479
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (5015)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:08am - health - by No thanks - United States

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (5241)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML



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