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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (1035)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (3952)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (5428)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21614) - you deserved it (1376)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

#21523696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15083) - you deserved it (1162)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm - misc - by Asian - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

#21522776
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19548) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/04/2016 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by doodlecrzyMeg (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (4161)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

#21523192
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (2046)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by myusofwe (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I finally found out why my graphics card in my PC had been overheating recently. My brother disconnected the card's fan because it was too loud when he was gaming. I guess I can always spend another $750. FML

#21524086
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10587) - you deserved it (823)

On 02/08/2016 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (2026)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18618) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (2457)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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