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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (2064)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (1600)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (8674)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (17495)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (4210)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18392) - you deserved it (1499)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

#21403375
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you deserved it (2709)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm - misc - by imtheshit - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you deserved it (3042)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

#21403387
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18929) - you deserved it (1302)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm - misc - by Eternal Servitude - United States (California)

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

#21402857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (1770)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17751) - you deserved it (1617)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16582) - you deserved it (2787)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (1726)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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