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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (5594)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (1749)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34289) - you deserved it (1737)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14894) - you deserved it (20385)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8275) - you deserved it (34051)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (1478)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

#21454921
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32454) - you deserved it (1691)

On 08/11/2015 at 8:00pm - misc - by SY5623 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (1369)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (1404)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (6101)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta



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