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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

#21450445
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (4430)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Hellasboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

#21450246
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (1329)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4129) - you deserved it (357)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

#21450928
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4458) - you deserved it (609)

On 08/02/2015 at 3:45pm - misc - by ChildishKeynote - United States (California)

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4140) - you deserved it (501)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

#21451161
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1869) - you deserved it (166)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)



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