Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42411) - you deserved it (12438)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48759) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

#21132642
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36484) - you deserved it (42201)

On 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41222) - you deserved it (4378)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (16259)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47688) - you deserved it (7244)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (6398)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42856) - you deserved it (3138)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (4448)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

#21129038
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (3272)

On 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm - misc - by nopleasestopmother (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (9324)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: