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May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (5615)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (50621)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (8086)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49848) - you deserved it (4140)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52200) - you deserved it (4093)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57626) - you deserved it (5793)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48064) - you deserved it (4210)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (4993)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (35089)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

#21129433
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39336) - you deserved it (7305)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:38am - health - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (13742)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)



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