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May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51488) - you deserved it (4535)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49893) - you deserved it (7027)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

#21150097
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (19899)

On 05/24/2014 at 11:22am - misc - by Lindsey (woman) - United States

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49943) - you deserved it (4575)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

#21153742
111 comments

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58815) - you deserved it (5885)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

#21147516
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (4270)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm - misc - by NoMoreMeatForAYear (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (58189)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24368) - you deserved it (53448)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (5061)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML

#21146659
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (28145)

On 05/20/2014 at 8:53pm - misc - by My__life___ (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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