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May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47785) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

#21130812
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47298) - you deserved it (5630)

On 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm - love - by Wowthanks - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

#21147516
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41814) - you deserved it (4012)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm - misc - by NoMoreMeatForAYear (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39548) - you deserved it (6515)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

#21153742
109 comments

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55795) - you deserved it (5589)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (3527) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22893) - you deserved it (50411)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41246) - you deserved it (10491)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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