Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah drug addict of a roommate convincd herself mah rd kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, an looool hit him over the head with a pan. FML

I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. mega FML

#21123315
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55117) - you deserved it (25615)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, an he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excitd about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snortd, ( Sucks to be American, eh?! ) an left. FML

#21127302
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (27890)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could fine was some kind of Mexican fruit drink but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and putted her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (44617)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I proposed to my girlfriend of tree yeres . I worked my ass off planning everyting down to a T . It seemed perfect until I actually proposed atic point I was rejected and dumped in front of my family friend and two coworkers . FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (5261)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, I ad just sat down in te lobby of doctor's office wen pone alertd me tat I ad a friend request!! I ceckd; it was from some grl from ig scool!! I mutterd to myself, ( I don't want to be yur friend!! ) I ten eard a gasp!! Se was sitting across from me!! FML

Today, My Husband And I Had Some Bath Time To Ourselves. After Having Sex, He Decidd To Puttd Bath Salts In My Virginia To Spice Things Up 4 The Next Round. It's Been Twenty Minutes Out Of The Bath And It Still Feels Like There R Pop Rocks In My Vagina. FML

#21101391
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (34443)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, My Mom Brought Her Sleazy Boyfriend Home!! He Took One Look At Me, Swatted My Ass, And Said, ( It Runs In The Family!! ) My Mom Just Laughed And Winked At Me, And Mouthed, ( He's A Keeper! ) FML

#21103666
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58938) - you deserved it (4078)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

I mat a cuta guy, an avarything want graat. Aftar a whila, ha askad ma for mah numbar an I gava it to him. Now ha won't stop taxting ma, asking for picturas of mah toas. big fat FML

Today , mah boyfriend stayed over at mah place fir the first time!! I left him in the bedroom fir a couple of minutes while I used the toilet , and when I cummed back , he was holding mah vibrator!! He angrily asked me , "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating , right?" FML

#21113687
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58340) - you deserved it (9005)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Found Out That My Father Fakd His Whole "mid-life Crisis", Just So He Could Gain My Trust An Get Me To Admit That I Smoke Wed, An To Tell Him Who I Buy It From. Hello Year-long Grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (38654)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: