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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (7762)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65129) - you deserved it (5123)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (13366)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53365) - you deserved it (4515)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (6509)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

#21092507
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (8492)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:09am - health - by SeriouslyMakeItStop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62882) - you deserved it (8518)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49738) - you deserved it (8919)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (5054)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (6735)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments


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