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December 2013

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Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51914) - you deserved it (14930)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50198) - you deserved it (6945)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42501) - you deserved it (2951)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48566) - you deserved it (4576)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (5190)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46556) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (7091)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35829) - you deserved it (20500)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49330) - you deserved it (4751)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

#20993484
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (5754)

On 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm - love - by um...no? i don't think so anyway (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML



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