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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (3531)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (4729)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45663) - you deserved it (3913)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (14208)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42986) - you deserved it (5684)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57300) - you deserved it (3818)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (3422)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

#21002524
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (4546)

On 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by JoshuasGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (4772)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (18698)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)



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