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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50803) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (20721)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (4059)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (5335)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50934) - you deserved it (4822)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45303) - you deserved it (3714)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39682) - you deserved it (5461)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (53537)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (4181)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65152) - you deserved it (5410)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (3778)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (5339)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)



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