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December 2013

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Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50900) - you deserved it (5313)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (53303)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (5273)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38863) - you deserved it (4037)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (3701)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (5839)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (3767)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62665) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (5132)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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