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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (11597)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (11682)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46094) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (10958)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (7672)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40126) - you deserved it (6016)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7571)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML



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