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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51287) - you deserved it (4810)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (13390)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (8411)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57157) - you deserved it (7476)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50656) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (6440)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (4266)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (13619)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52138) - you deserved it (8858)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (7036)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



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