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December 2013

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Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46848) - you deserved it (6684)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44937) - you deserved it (5689)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (4049)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

#20979925
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (15816)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

#20979319
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (4048)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm - health - by wheezy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (4181)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (5957)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (3370)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (3078)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (9837)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43589) - you deserved it (3221)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)



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