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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41657) - you deserved it (6881)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (7481)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40500) - you deserved it (3865)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40415) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (3395)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38188) - you deserved it (2440)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36474) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36926) - you deserved it (6462)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

#21002397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41793) - you deserved it (2848)

On 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm - work - by homerr123 (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (6302)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

#20997471
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by bf - Canada (Ontario)



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