Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

#20997471
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41508) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by bf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (5578)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

#21004456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (8951)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:38am - work - by peevedemployee - United States

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47950) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (3258)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (5649)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (5524)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (10924)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: