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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43983) - you deserved it (4126)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

#20992711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (7589)

On 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (8004)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45697) - you deserved it (2770)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50564) - you deserved it (4646)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43026) - you deserved it (3223)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (5392)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (3281)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (2992)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

#21004456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (8382)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:38am - work - by peevedemployee - United States



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