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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (7811)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (2993)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (3949)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35446) - you deserved it (7555)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50410) - you deserved it (4637)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (5388)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45568) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (3152)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51302) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47790) - you deserved it (4836)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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