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December 2013

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Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (3992)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49159) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44441) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (6206)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (10944)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48712) - you deserved it (5705)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (8268)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (3595)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (3771)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (5596)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

#20993041
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (32416)

On 12/15/2013 at 1:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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