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December 2013

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Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48172) - you deserved it (3359)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42457) - you deserved it (4141)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (4154)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

#20998949
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44138) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42033) - you deserved it (3708)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49345) - you deserved it (3979)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

#20993041
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (34298)

On 12/15/2013 at 1:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (11487)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45573) - you deserved it (6586)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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