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December 2013

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Taday wife made me a Sex Rewards Cart,ere I get points by doing cores an suc, an 50 points gets me some action. Se refuses to even look at me if I aven't earned te points, an is contemplating sleeping alone in te guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60812) - you deserved it (19045)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television looool so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter wat we bribe her with. big fat FML

#21010264
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (23514)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, an went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago an won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54407) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, ma 6-year-old daugter got mad at me fir not buying er yet anoter expensive doll. I ad to pull er away, and se started screaming fir elp. Te next ting I know, anoter sopper puts me in a cokeold and calls fir security, allile ma daugter smrks. fat FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48698) - you deserved it (5680)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I trid to prove to my grlfriend how much I've maturd an that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I trid to confrm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. mega FML

#21010392
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35711) - you deserved it (28708)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today I walked in on my daugter ligting candles around one of er friends o'd fallen asleepile er oter friends looool canted someting in a different language. Tey still won't tell meat tey were doing.

#21001182
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my looool fiancé left me waiting at the train station 4 two and a half hours cuz he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. mega FML

Today, I woke up in mah hospital bd after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68113) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

TODAY, MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR ALONG WITH OUR COMMUNITY CHURCH'S PRIEST CAME TO MY HOUSE AN DEMANDD TO "GIVE THEM THE GRL". THE GRL IS MY 3-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, WHO HAS NATURAL BORN RD RISES AN IS PHOTO-SENSITIVE. AND YES, WE ARE ALSO ROMANIAN. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54843) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex fir us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writer of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people lyk him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adultho don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

#21007374
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dyed mah hair. And mah forehead. And mah ears. And mah arms. And mah hands. FML

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (9982)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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