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December 2013

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Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

by reallyhighschool / 12/03/2013 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

by worstwaytodumpagirl / 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML

by marcranger / 12/05/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML

by Hungry / 12/27/2013 at 9:01am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, marks my third day of school being closed due to snow. One, and only one, of the teachers has decided that we have to do work online in the meantime. I just so happen to be in three of his classes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

by thejanamonster / 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

by rock'n roller / 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm / Love

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

by Cacahuete / 12/28/2013 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous