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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37912) - you deserved it (6640) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48500) - you deserved it (4575)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (5189)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (4057)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43931) - you deserved it (7086)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (2949)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35789) - you deserved it (20484)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49270) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51862) - you deserved it (14926)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML



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