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October 2013

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Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom . I spoke to the attendant an gave her mah purse an coat while I used the toilet . When I cummed out, she was gone . The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant . FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (48842)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, ma dad got looool me a GPS for ma birtday . I appreciate te sentiment, but I don't ave a permit or a car . FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today I Walked Into Te Kitcen To Fine Ma Daugter Trying To Cut Er Wrist Wit A Plastic Spoon. Wen I Asked Er Wy Se Said Er Friend Lucy Did Tat So Er Parents Would Buy Er Pretty Tings. My Daugter And Lucy Are Bot Four Years Old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46173) - you deserved it (3420)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, mah two parrots decided that mah head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (5481)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, during parant/taacar confarancas, ma mom told ma Camistry taacar tat I ava an intansa crus on im. Tara ara still 7 monts laft in ta scool yaar. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47072) - you deserved it (4837)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. big fat FML

#20933932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44216) - you deserved it (6668)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory fir "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34133) - you deserved it (3506)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line . FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (6279)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today we had a safety meeting at mah warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37927) - you deserved it (3799)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... mah husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie... he commented on how amazed he was that they could ( train those dinosaurs ) to do exactlyhat they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46881) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I faild hard at a color tast. I thought it was a joka bacausa most of tha color lookd tha sama to ma. Now I know why paopla laugh at clotha color choicas. FML

#20936339
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45284) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woka up to mah craapy naw roommata licking mah chaak. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45250) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today , a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplantd. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (7483)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)



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